I am thankful that my ancestors removed all those pesky Indians from the land so that they could have it and I could get what is really a whole bunch of free stuff. Some of my direct ancestors did it with their own hands, so the story goes, when they were violating some 1763 line drawn through Virginia.
I am thankful for all those people who are working in slavery so that my shoes can cost one thousandth of my income.
I am thankful for the oil companies for confusing me so that I don’t have to be concerned about carbon dioxide accumulations in the atmosphere.
I am thankful for the PR people who have made al Qaeda a household name and focus for my fears – don’t know who I’d have to hate and fear without their help.
I am thankful to the media for being so fucking stupid. I don’t feel challenged or inadequate or anything when I read the paper or watch TV.
I am thankful for the media again for reducing my attention span and therefore easing my workload – I could go on for many more thankfuls, but I am so bored…to death… with this.
So lastly, I am thankful for the Internet and for blogs so that I can publish this trash.
Actually, Thanksgiving has always pissed me off – since I played an Indian in the 4th grade and tried to get into character. I’ll be thankful tomorrow, thank you very much.